Different Ways
by oliverqsmoak
Summary: Remus says I love you in a million different ways. He says it without words, or with words that were designed to hold an entirely different meaning.


**A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own Remus and Nymphadora. They belong to J.K. Rownling.  
Sorry if I make any spelling- or grammar mistakes.**

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Remus says _I love you_ in a million different ways. He says it without words, or with words that were designed to hold an entirely different meaning.

He says _I love you_ when he holds her hand during Order meetings and squeezes just a little bit harder when they mention their painful losses. He's afraid he'll break her hand if he keeps squeezing, but she reassures him every time that it's okay. She can handle it. She's an Auror, remembers him every time. At the end of every meeting he's afraid to let go, because her hand means reassurance and steadies him.

He says _I love you_ when he has to take care of her after she's fallen over the umbrella stand for the zillionth time and curses so loud she nearly wakes up the whole house. Her pants are ripped and her knees are battered, but she can take it. He places soft kisses over her knees and he feels her relaxing under his touch. With a healing spell he makes her skin look like new. The soft flesh no more blue, but pink, almost the same shade as her hair.

He says _I love you_ when he wakes her up after hours of blissful sleep and he's too afraid she'll start throwing pillows at him because it's too early to actually wake up.

She actually did that once. He'd never seen her so alive at that moment, even though she just woke up.

He says _I love you_ when he pushes her away for her own safety. The only thing she could think of is that this wasn't love. He could only think of her. For him there's no greater way of showing his affection then to actually walk away. He wanted her to be safe and couldn't bear the thought of losing her. Love meant letting go and making sacrifices.

He says _I love you_ when he asks about her day and sees the way her hair is changing throughout the conversation. She'd only do that with him, because she could let herself go. He fascinated the way her hair went from pink to red to green to blue to his own sandy brown.

He says _I love you_ when he keeps her close next to him at night, trying to avoid his nightmares. Even though it's been years, the full moon would always creep him out. She'd understand and draw lazy, soothing circles on his back and tell him everything would be okay. It were just a few days and he would survive. He was strong and smart. He wasn't a murderer, like he thought he was. He was human, who have bad things happened to. He was nowhere close to the bad guys. As promising and true it would sound from her lips, there was always a small part in his mind that wouldn't believe her. Who knew what would happen during the next full moon?

He says _I love you_ when he avoids her during Christmas. The way her hair has changed to mousy brown breaks his heart. The way she's always looking for him. He has to find the greatest strength to not turn to her and take her in his arms; to whisper that it would all be okay and that she was safe with him and nothing would ever happen to her. But how far could love go? How long before it would break him and he couldn't do it anymore? He wondered it every time he had to walk away. Every time he had to close his eyes to not see her mousy brown hair and know that it was his fault.

He says _I love you_ when he begs for forgiveness on her doorsteps. She yells at him and wants to close the door. He's so stubborn and doesn't know what he wants. He needs to make up his mind and stay this time. She couldn't take this anymore and wanted all of him, not just during the times he actually wanted her, too. She told him she didn't care. She'd told him a million times.

He says _I love you_ with the slightest of nerves in his voice, as he kneels down on one knee and asks her the most important question he will ever ask in his entire life.

 _'_ _Nymphadora, will you marry me?'_

 _'_ _Remus, how many times do I have to tell you that you don't need to call me Nymphadora?'_ she'd said. He knew she would say that, but he wanted to make it official by calling her by her first name.

 _'_ _Is that a yes, then?'_ She jumps in his arms and nestles her head in the crook of his neck. He holds her close to him and when he finally wants to break their embrace and ask her again, she breaths _yes_ into his skin. He can't help but feel butterflies in his stomach, because he finally ties them together; forever.

He says _I love you_ at the most important day of his life. When she stumbles towards him in nothing but white. She chose brown hair for the occasion, matching his salt-and-pepper locks.

The way her soft fingers felt under his touch when he glided the ring on her finger and tied them together forever.

He says _I love you_ when he gets to know every corner of her body and is too afraid to break her. The way her skin feels under his touch. He had no idea that she could still make him tremble under her touch. Her fingers feel like magic and make him feel like home. The way their bodies move together and he has no idea where his' begins and hers ends. The only thing he can think of is that he finally has come home, after all those years.

She looks like an angel when she wakes up and he can't stop smiling because she's finally his. His for eternity and beyond.

He says _I love you_ when he begs her to take him back after he found out she was pregnant and left. He couldn't handle it at the time, was too afraid he'd pass his condition on. He couldn't do this to an innocent child, his child. She didn't deserve to be an outcast.

He'd promised her before he wouldn't leave and here he is again. It feels like the beginning.

She stares at him with saddened eyes and tries to hold back her tears. She wants to close the door, he's sure of it, but she doesn't. Her stomach's still flat and he can't imagine that his child is actually in there. Their child. They created a child as an act of true love and he couldn't help but admit that he already loved it. No matter the costs. Everything freaked him out at the time, but he wanted to protect Dora and their child.

He says _I love you_ when he touches her stomach and feels the baby kick for the first time. Her eyes could light rooms up, because she's radiant. He thought pregnancy suited her. He's never seen her more beautiful. She places her hands over his and stares at him with so much love he's not sure he'll be able to stand for much longer.

He says _I love you_ when she curses at him during labor. She feels so much pain at the moment and he wants to take it all from her. She shouldn't be in this much pain and he caused it.

 _'_ _We're never having sex again!'_ She screams after another painful contraction. He smiles at himself, because he knows she's lying.

After several hours he's finally able to hold his son in his arms. Dora lays next to him and he kisses her passionately. He couldn't fathom that they would be able to create such a tiny, wonderful creature. His son. In his wildest dreams he wasn't able to imagine himself as a father.

Teddy, they'd decided. After Dora's father. Teddy was perfect in every way. Just like his mother.

He says _I love you_ when he leaves her and Teddy to fight for a better world. He promises her that he will come back to her and Teddy, but he knows he will break that promise eventually. He can only hope and pray.

He whispers _I love you_ when they lie together for the last time and he looks at her one more time. His eyes too tired to remain open. He closes his eyes and finally lets himself go, knowing he will find her wherever she is. He would always find her and never let go.

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 **A/N: Reviewers will get to share a hot cocoa with Remus. ;)**


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